This year is a liberating one. Any year would be, if people took it as the last one they would ever live.
The fact is that once you take things to be finite, there is a strange urgency which infuses every action thereon, a vitality which it was missing earlier.
And there is joy, a benign feeling of goodness- in myself and in others. And this is surprising, in a person as jaded as the one I used to be.
And there is lightness. I have given up a lot of dead weight (pun intended). There are people you know, just for the heck of it. And you keep up appearances because, well, it is rude to not do so. But I have decided to make sure that this year will have no pretence with it. Even if my life does not end in December, at least a lot of unnecessary weight would have ended. So to all you people, whom I knew for fear of being rude, and those people who took me for granted, goodbye.
And there is satisfaction. I do a job. I do it well. That is all I need from my life currently. I ask for no more, and I receive no less. I cease to be disgruntled, and I still have time to do something apart from my job. So, to unnecessary doubts and useless crying about life, goodbye.
And there is happiness. When there is simplicity, there is no grief. I have decided to see the grey and be happy, rather than fret over the black and white. It is easy to segregate after that. I have 1 or 2 people I can go to, after I have killed someone… cheated on someone…have sinned somewhere… and still be sure that I won’t be judged. So, to all those who sat in judgement, behind hidden smiles and sly entrendes, goodbye.
If I were to picture my life right now, it’s like it has just woken up. That it is sleepy eyed, in a sun-kissed bed. There is the day to look forward to.
It is just sitting there, deliciously rumpled, and I won’t change a crease.