Panic.

Panic mode.

I’m 27. I have pretty much been through all the kinds of relationships possible. The fun ones, serious ones, remember that one night we got so drunk ones. And now I have reached a place where I take a relationship to be a luxury. Much like I carve out time and money to cater to my need to take a cab to Goregaon everyday, I also carve out time for that special someone. Most days, I would  rather not. I would much rather do something else.  Just to not make that effort. But I do it anyway. Even if I don’t think it will last. Even if I don’t believe in it.

And I wonder why that is. The answer is so simple. I’m 27.

Is this what panic feels like. Is this what drives people to do things they don’t want to? Or maybe I want to, but the entire urgency of it is off-putting. Like someone is force feeding me air.

Find someone quick, and fall in love before you atrophy?

No.

Find someone. Eventually.

Fall in love. With grace.

Don’t panic. 

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4 comments

  1. Soumil Nigam · January 26, 2014

    Beautifully concluded. The last three lines, are so much sufficient, no their own.

    • redchappals · January 28, 2014

      Thank you Soumil. Appreciate the response.

  2. Praff · January 28, 2014

    You don’t fall in love by planning kiddo, you fall in love by accident. Most probably that has already happened but will take you a few years to realize. Everything becomes obvious in retrospect but very few realize it in the moment it happens. As you grow older, you’ll end up caring more about the relationships that you’ve already had and gotten over and start to regret things you did not do compared to things you did. – just an anonymous faceless stranger who stumbled across your blog through Twitter.

    • redchappals · January 28, 2014

      Thank you Praff. It’s always nice to know how other people feel, otherwise, I’m just an anonymous, faceless stranger pushing words out there with no idea of what they mean to others 😀

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