We humans are creatures of need. Somehow, we have established for ourselves a litany of things we must have in order to survive. They include physical, spiritual, inherent, growing…a whole Maslow’s pyramid worth.
And they are true. We do need relationships. But our idea of ‘relationships’ is so defined by the extrinsic – holding hands, hugs, cuddles, kisses, sex…etc. that we forget that the only reason we wanted to be with another person was to have someone to talk to. That is all.
I feel like this is a transcendental change in the way I view my relationships. For the longest time, it was about the feel of him. And now, when I know that hands can be used in more than just showing love, it is apt that I like more distance.
Needs adapt to the environment. If we were in an environment which did not attach emotional success rates to social mating rituals, we would be a happier and less needier bunch. But that isn’t true. So we claw and scrape and cleave and hope.
It would be so much better to just realize that the only real need that we have is of a willing listener. That is all the ideal mate needs to have. The capacity to share your thoughts. And your other needs will adapt to that environment.
You don’t need the rest of the frills