I write to you through a haze. We have been through a lot, you and I. There were years when we had no hope. When I had given up on life, and you on love. There were times we both gave up, and there was distance when you chose to leave me and be with someone else. To be dependent on others, that was the worst punishment you could have ever given me. But I always knew you would come back. Call it pessimism or realism, I knew mere love could never keep you from me.
We have been through a lot, you and I, for just an emotion to come between us.
I always knew, and it was because I knew myself, that you would come back. Weary and lost, but you would be mine again
And that is why it hurt all the more, when you decided to leave some months past, and I see no hope of retrieving you.
You have been a fickle mistress indeed.
I hope you are happy with him. That paragon you have chosen to stay with, leaving me prone and weak, and utterly at your mercy. He does not need you at all, and I find I cannot survive without you.
I never knew we would come to this pass. Where to talk to you, I would need to go through another.
I know I should have been gentle with you, and I would apologize now if I could. For all the breaking and misuse. We treat what is ours much more cruelly than we treat others. I know I drove you away, and now you have your revenge.
But this is where you belong, not with someone else.
Even while I went through my worst, I always could tell myself “At least I have my heart, at least that much is safe”.
Now that it is not true anymore, I see I should have valued you more.
Come back, dear heart, it is lonely without you. I promise not to break you anymore.