Parasite.

My father has called me a lot of things along the years. I do not blame him. It was a part of how he was raised, and I took it as my inheritance. But the one word that always haunted me, or rather touched that raw nerve was ‘parasite’.

It is nothing new for a girl to be considered as such in our society. We are supposedly ‘paraya dhan’.  We live on one family and then are passed on to the other, our ‘real home’. Or that is how it used to be.

And then our generation came up.

With aspirations and careers and education and things to do and places to reach.

Wonderful.

And then there are people who are not all of that.

I realized that all these years, the force that had been driving me was the sole need to not have that tag. To not be a ‘parasite’. To be a self-sufficient human-being.

It is a shallow place to judge oneself by. You cannot be wrapped in a plastic bubble and  think of yourself as enough.

But, on the other hand, you cannot be one of those people who feed off others. Emotionally, physically or plain materialistically.

Where do I draw the line?

Where am I a success, and where am I just another parasite?

I wish I could ask my dad that.

 

 

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2 comments

  1. Sunil Singh · December 27, 2012

    Well written!
    It’s all about managing expectations.Actually parents,being overzealous,do speak words that should not be said to mature children.

    However intent is never negative.

    Best strategy is,after entering into professional phase,one should take decisions on its own.Parents need to be handled diplomatically.When +ve results pouring in things would be streamlined.

  2. A.M · February 7, 2013

    Goddamn. This exact word was used by my mom an hour ago (for the millionth time). I even thought, would she have said this to a guy? You would think a woman wouldn’t say that to her daughter, but that’s too much to expect in our culture. This is what comes out of not having absorbed ‘western’ ideals and moved out of the house when we’re 18 I guess. Though that would have its own host of issues! sigh.

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