My father has called me a lot of things along the years. I do not blame him. It was a part of how he was raised, and I took it as my inheritance. But the one word that always haunted me, or rather touched that raw nerve was ‘parasite’.
It is nothing new for a girl to be considered as such in our society. We are supposedly ‘paraya dhan’. We live on one family and then are passed on to the other, our ‘real home’. Or that is how it used to be.
And then our generation came up.
With aspirations and careers and education and things to do and places to reach.
And then there are people who are not all of that.
I realized that all these years, the force that had been driving me was the sole need to not have that tag. To not be a ‘parasite’. To be a self-sufficient human-being.
It is a shallow place to judge oneself by. You cannot be wrapped in a plastic bubble and think of yourself as enough.
But, on the other hand, you cannot be one of those people who feed off others. Emotionally, physically or plain materialistically.
Where do I draw the line?
Where am I a success, and where am I just another parasite?
I wish I could ask my dad that.