Violence.

Everyone she talked to that day said the same thing – “There is no excuse. You are not to blame. He is the monster, not you.”

It had turned into a comforting litany, and she repeated it to herself with every tear that rolled out. It was like a funeral with one person playing the body and the mourner.

I fear I’m making it too dramatic. But the problem is that there is no way to make black and blue patches of skin less dramatic. They are coloured that way already.

There are so many clichés tumbling around. “He is from a good family, they don’t behave like that.” “I’m a smart, educated woman. This happens to other people.” “We are in love. We’ll talk about our differences.”

All well and good, until he decides to take off that mask.

The only thing that hurts in the end (no, it’s not the slaps or the punches or the kicks or the choking), is the sheer unreasonableness of it.

Why did this happen to me?

What did I do?

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5 comments

  1. Paritosh Joshi (@paritoshZero) · October 27, 2012

    People accept all manner of atrocity in the guise of ‘love’ or ‘relationship’. And the perpetrators of inequity are deeply insecure- the violence is proof positive of their pathetic persona. I see so much courage in your writing about it. Lesson learnt.

  2. Sneha · October 29, 2012

    It isn’t your fault. No, it is not. *hugs*

  3. Aishwarya Guha · November 2, 2012

    I want to say something to you. I do not know you at all, so you may say that i’m completely out of line here. I have been through something very similar. I’ve refused to step out of my house for days because i had a black and blue patch, around my eye, and many more such black and blue patches, inside. I did not know what to do. I did not do anything, except that i did not take the blows lying down(if that counts as doing anything, except for survival instinct). I’m a puny woman, and he was a large 6 feet man. So yes, a towering figure there too.
    I walked out of the relationship, after several of those instances of course! (The man was hopelessly in love with me, or so he said).
    Then it happened again, with another man. This time, I severely questioned myself if i really were to blame. But then i went and reported him. At the sight of blood from my nose, i lost it! I couldn’t live with myself, calling myself a feminist with all righteousness and then standing back and doing nothing. Whatever, and really whatever, was the reason, nothing can justify the action.

    I read ur post, before you deleted it. Each of those scenes replayed inside my head. I have been through each of them. The not being able to breathe bit, too. You have every right to take any action that you want to or don’t want to. But the one thing i wanted to say to you is that you shouldn’t have deleted the post. It was the way you choose to speak out, and speaking out is never wrong, however dramatic, or theatrical or threatening it may be.
    I hope you find your strength. Love and Light!

    • Aishwarya Guha · November 2, 2012

      Also, that was the way you’d chosen to protest. I’m beginning to think you don’t want to, because you deleted the post. Please tell me I’m wrong…

      • redchappals · November 4, 2012

        It will be back up. You know my reasons for taking it down. It’s temporary. Also, thank you. And keep the faith.

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