In the proper, cuddled against each other, feeling the stubble scratch against your cheek, hearing the occasional snores, smelling the morning breath, and waking up in a panic because of a fiercer than usual tussle for the blanket.
Do it sometime. Do it for a few days.
Hear the breathing of a person next to you when they are asleep, a regular rhythm which makes you feel like you are in a cocoon. It takes away the monsters under the bed and makes the gaping darkness that is the living room turn into just a room.
There is a moment right before you drift off- there is this horrible struggle between your head and your heart. You head says there is nothing in the darkness and there is no one and you are safe. Your heart says take up those stupid sheets and put them over your face and shut your eyes tight and try not to breathe too loudly.
And in that moment, if you can take someone’s hand, and put your face in a warm nook, and know that you are not alone, everything becomes a little less dark. Mostly it’s the warmth that gets to you.
It’s a beautiful feeling. It is a highly addictive feeling. Once you have been with someone, once you have had that warmness around you, it’s damn difficult to go back to sleeping alone. Your side of the bed becomes oppressive and you wish you had someone fighting over the blanket, or making an abysmal amount of noise in the middle of the night or creaking the bed every time they move.
It’s addictive. This is why people commit for life and get married and remain together even through a lot of shit. Because they get to sleep with someone, because they don’t dream alone.