Friday, 11 February 2011 at 22:45
For always. The same person. For always.
Look at time in a non-linear fashion. Expand it to fill in the moments that seem like eternity, to fit the years that seem to fly by in a whirl.
See it turning it into a huge, clean white space, extending all around you, as far as the eye can see. Now imagine having only one person in it. As the centre of that vast infinity. As the only recognizable point in a plane. And now start walking with him/her to find the end.
I’m very sure the conversation will pall after about a few miles. There’ll be a few pauses first, here and there, barely noticeable. While you are trying to think of something new to say. Sure, there are wayside trees and animals and far off objects to discuss, but for how long? Then there will be irritating repetitions, because you will have the same subjects and the same stories, and you will be thinking – not this again. Then there won’t be even that. There might be even worse. There will be only you counting your silent steps, disjointed from your body, you and your mind in a far off parallel universe.
And then it will be your memories. When the person next to you will change, for a while, become a ghost, gliding past and helping you remember. That is why people panic. Right before they start to walk. They know how it will end. Hopeless hope is the most human of all emotions.
But, we will not be like the millions of others. Against all commonsensical notions of probability, we will defy the odds, and have a marriage to live for. After a while, this mantra stops working.
Then, and maybe before it all starts, you need a parenthesis.
One for the road. It would be damned depressing otherwise